It’s about to be 4 weeks that I’ve been learning the tango for the first time in my life. Being a woman in the 21st century, celebrating the successes of the feminist movement, it’s strange that a dance so dominated by the man, like the tango, could be so profound. I enjoy the dance and the music a lot, but the best thing that I discovered, to my surprise, was the wisdom behind tango. It seems that the tango is a lesson about relationships. To know how to dance the tango is to know how to be in a profound and permanent relationship. But I need to develop a few concepts.
The tango could teach us 5 things about love.
What can the tango walk teach us? First, in the same way that we need to know how to walk with grace and balance before dancing, we need to know how to be ourselves before we can be in a relationship. There isn’t anyone on this earth that can teach us how to be ourselves, because we aren’t all the same. We need to define our individuality before we can be with another person. It’s the same way that being single for a period of time can be a good thing. In that time we can cultivate our garden so that we can offer something to our partner.
What surprised me in the tango stance how much freedom is given in the stance. In the stance, the couple is connected on the heart level. But at the level of the hips, each partner has a lot of space to do what they want. From this, we can learn that in a romantic relationship, to be connected does not mean to be fused together. Both people need room for their own individual activities and thoughts. According to the poet Khalil Gibran, a romantic relationship should have a desert in between the lovers, and when they drink, it should never be from the same cup.
The change of pace:
I also really liked the movements of the tango when the couple braked to change pace. These movements coincided in a beautiful manner with the music, in order to not ruin the dance. In a romantic relationship, there are also moments when the relationship becomes stagnant. It’s very difficult to live in these moments and the temptation to leave the relationship always surfaces. But there is no reason to be afraid in these moments because it is simply just a “change of pace”.
The sacada (a dance move) is my favorite part. The man blocks the foot of the woman, and she needs to overcome that with grace. This move has a lot to teach us. When our partner blocks us in one way or another, we don’t have to feel trapped. It’s no help to feel mad or sad. What we must do is look for another way to get through these situations. With a free and happy heart we can overcome many situations and lead the relationship in a new direction that will satisfy both partners.
Finally, there is the molinetes – when the woman turns around the man. The woman needs, during the molineta, to maintain the connection of her chest with the man’s chest to appear graceful. It’s a difficult movement and it’s easy to lose this connection and become far from the man. It’s the same thing in a relationship. There will be moments when one partner “turns” — changes jobs, thoughts or religion. In these moments, the couple needs to take care and change together. If done well, the relationship can last. But if they are not careful, the couple will grow apart. So, it is important, to not be afraid when there is a change. But we need to learn how to turn around each other without losing our individuality.
In conclusion, the dance has a lot of wisdom of how to be in a good romantic relationship. The most important thing that the dance taught me is how to follow. The biggest difficulty in love is to be able to follow each other.
In the 21st century we think that following is a behavior for the weak. But we can change our point of view about the word “follow” and see it as a thing of love for each other.
Following should open for us a bigger space to grow, and the tango helped me to discover a dance full of beauty, grace and wisdom.